How it started
So, if I can swim up and down the lanes and do a mile, then surely, I can do that outdoors too? The year was 2020 and I started to google ‘outdoor swim events’ with no real idea what I was looking for and why, other than I needed a new goal and challenge, for myself.
I’ve been swimming my whole life really, in pools and outdoors, competitively as a child and teenager, and for leisure and fun. When Covid hit, there was little else to do so the pool swimming shifted to outdoors, initially in a wetsuit, for distance and often in just a swimsuit as my confidence grew to proper swimming, mostly in the reservoir near me. When it was colder, a short dip was sufficed.
I found my first swim event in Scotland while googling and decided to sign up. The event was to take place in August 2021, in Loch Tay, a beautiful loch, in one my favourite places, Kenmore, near Aberfeldy. It sounded inclusive, friendly and you could pick your distance, dependant on your ability and so on. The event was organised by Go Swim Events. I poured over the videos of previous years and went through the pictures. This is exactly what I am looking for, I’ll give it go.
It was great to book in advance as I now had something to work towards and a push to keep my swimming up. A lot of practice took place in the pool and then I realised that I would have to practice in the great outdoors. I only ever really did breaststroke outdoors and whilst covering some distance, to power on in the event, it would require me to swim freestyle for as much of the distance as I could manage. I mean, that’s easy right?
The Practice
The first time I did a proper freestyle practice swim with the full kit, was quite the eye opener. I had not anticipated the following……I can’t see the bottom because its so deep and dark, my ears are filled with cold water giving me brain freeze and why do I feel sea sick…..and what is actually IN the water, other than me. Initially, I would get my daughter or husband to ‘spot me’, where they would kayak or paddleboard near to me, in case I needed them.
As it turns out, I nearly had a full-blown panic brought on by the issues already mentioned. I had not expected that. So, it was good to have someone there. To remind me I was in fact sane and some regulatory breathing and on I go.
I did a practice full kit swim one day, where I swam from one side of part of St Mary’s Loch to the other. The only real issue was my mindset and that is what I needed to fix. I had to repeat my mantras with each stroke and in a methodical way……I am safe….I love the water…..I’m a strong swimmer……I’ve got this etc. The worst part of all of it was that after watching too many thrillers and murder programmes on Netflix, all I could think about was that there were dead bodies in the water. At the exact moment that I was swimming over them (the bodies!), they would rise to the surface in their half mangled, rotting flesh greyness, with their eyes open, and appear just a couple of inches away from my face. I then imagined that I would then go into full panic mode and start flapping around and then get totally entangled in the dead body, as it touches me, and me scrambling to get away, taking the dead flesh with me. I mean, in my rational brain, I do realise how ridiculous this sounds, but it’s there EVERYTIME. So. Not. Ideal.
I’m really going to have to get a grip so to speak, for the event. I wonder if anyone else thinks like this? Probably not. It was hard work getting over the negative and somewhat fantasy thoughts and feelings, and obviously not something you would ever experience in a swimming pool. And to be clear, never likely to encounter outdoors either! The more I swam outdoors, the more I got over it, and the better and quicker I swam. I have a Garmin watch that maps my distance in open water swimming and in the pool so I can chase my times. I also found a route that mapped the same distance I would be competing in, so it helped to know how far swimming a mile outdoors looked and felt like.
I learnt to get over the seasick feeling and realised after some research that this can be related to the choppiness and waviness of the water alongside the cold-water brain freeze feeling. Sometimes when I went to practice outdoors but the water felt too choppy to carry on, I would stop and turn back, something I hadn’t bargained for on event day. I only swan if there was a little breeze or ripple. To be fair, it’s probably safest to turn back if you don’t have someone spotting you. My times were not bad, and the excitement was building for the very first event.
The Journey
Loch Tay was busy and alive on the morning of the event. It’s safe to say, I was never off the toilet for most of morning, due to nerves and adrenaline kicking in and the anticipation of swimming in unknown water. There were hundreds of people participating, all ages, backgrounds, gender and so on, a wonderful mix.
The safety briefing was great and in the water were numerous kayak medics in case you needed to stop, have a breather, or return to base if you didn’t feel good. They send you down the jetty 10 at a time and you follow a route mapped out by huge floating, bright coloured markers. It turned out to be a nice day and luckily the water was only rippling so good conditions. Every distance is colour coded so you wear the colour of cap to match your distance.
I was off, I dove into the dark abyss and luckily no weird dead body visions! Although, I think this was due to all the people around me and in the water. The initial first 100m or so, was slow, as you must navigate the swimmers around you, all trying to get out in front or find the fastest path to the first floating marker. As this was my first event, I had set myself to at least finish, and maybe a half decent time. They give you a chip that you wear around your ankle and professionally time your swim with accuracy. I still used my Garmin, to compare.
I alternated between freestyle and breaststroke, as when my head was up, I could see where I was going, and it gave me a little rest from powering the freestyle. I went totally off course as it’s tricky trying to keep in a straight line when you are in open water. Twice around the markers seemed and felt longer than I’d ever swum before. I came around the corner on the home straight and never been happier to see dry land! I hadn’t realised the free for all the last 5 metres is, everyone elevating and powering, swimming over you, beside you, feet, and hands everywhere! I was shaky coming up the jetty but elated and absolutely floored. Trusty husband was there to capture the photo moments, offer congratulations and give me a dram! I was so happy and a decent time and that was it, it was the start of something new.
I hadn’t realised what the ‘after crash’ would be like though and I found myself having to go to bed that afternoon as I was so tired and coming down from the adrenaline and nerves and physical push, I gave myself. Later, there was Champagne of course, you’ve got to celebrate your wins!
The Changes
I entered again for 2022 at Loch Tay but had a very different experience. It was so choppy and wavey, the event was almost called off. I had never swum in water that wavey and it was a true test for me, almost giving up and throwing in the towel. On the shore the Loch looked a bit wavey but in the water, ploughing through it, was totally different and I had to adapt my technique and breathing to match the oncoming waves.
I swallowed so much water, that it was still sloshing around inside me hours after I got out. People were being sick, due to experiencing the same.
I was alive, but disappointed with a slow time, and likely no PB’s (personal bests) for anyone that day. Once again, I needed a sleep and recovery and we still had Champagne for at least taking part and finishing! And still being alive!
In 2023, I entered to swim Loch Tay and Loch Morlich. 2023 was the year that I will refer to as ‘goggle gate’. Loch Tay was horrendous, choppy again and my goggles leaked almost just as I took my first few strokes. I don’t know if any of you have ever tried to fix your goggles in the choppy abyss but it’s almost impossible trying to tread water and sort them, whilst also fuming at the audacity of it all, which culminates in a lot of time wasted and a crappy finish time. The mood was one of rage and disappointment. I came so close to waving down a medic that I can’t tell you.
I literally stormed up the jetty, throwing the goggles down and consuming myself in the worst possible mood ever. I totally over thought the whole event. Why did the goggles come off? They were fine last time; in fact, I had done an open water practice swim in them a few days prior to the event and they were fine. Livid doesn’t cover it. We always stay at Taymouth Marina, and it is becoming something the husband and I do, we make a weekend of it, and we love it.
The Mood Swings
The weekend was spent with me moping around, going on and on about the bloody goggles, that I must have been absolutely shit company, even though husband tried to appease me, I couldn’t hide my anger and disappointment. I then started to message groups about goggles and had anyone else experienced this. I also researched where to get the best goggles that were full proof.
Hours spent pouring over websites and reading reviews. I even did the stupid bloody face scan so that I could get custom made goggles that were called the “Magic 5’s”, guaranteed to fit you perfectly or your money back.
I couldn’t have been more disappointed with the result, tiny fiddly nose bits to put in and they didn’t, as it turns out didn’t fit my face. More rage. Money back it is. And so, it went on. At one point I had 8 pairs of goggles, all different brands and tints like a woman obsessed, seeking the perfect pair. Which of course doesn’t exist, it’s all in the temp, the conditions, whether they are wet or not and the exact positioning. Something that comes with practice and practice. What did I learn from all this? That I was one stubborn, overthinker and ultimately, I had wasted so much energy and time on. Not a nice lesson. But an important one.
Loch Morlich 2023 was a huge success, the fastest time I had done, nice conditions and no goggle gate. Always good to end the season on a high. Thankfully.
Here we are in 2024, and I ramped things up a notch, signing up for 4 events. It was my first time doing the Lake Coniston, Epic Events mile swim which I loved. Nice mapped out route and good conditions. It turned out to be the fastest one again. At this point, I’m not bothered what everyone else is doing, I’m competing against myself now. I want to improve my techniques and do better times for the same distance. The improvement showed on the professional leader board, and I was climbing up, in my chosen distance and age bracket.
Finding My Flow
Then followed Loch Tay, Loch Lomond (for the first time) and ending again with Loch Morlich. Fastest times for Loch Lomond and the usual choppy hell in Loch Tay. Loch Morlich was the most challenging to date, very windy and wavey. I had learnt now to take a different approach. I surveyed the water and people around me, I’ll be happy if I finish this one. I’ve nothing to lose, I’ll try my best. Not only was it the toughest yet, but there was also goggle gate! And I wasn’t alone. Halfway through I gave up with the goggles and rested them on my forehead, the force of the side incoming waves, knocked the suction and there were not staying put for anything. I did some intermittent breast stroke as it hard (for me) to do Freestyle in those white capped wavey conditions. I heard a woman next to me say out loud “oh f**k”…..I stopped and asked if she was ok.
She said, “oh yes, I’m fine, my goggles just broke and now they are floating down to the bottom”. She then said, “this is shit, isn’t it?” whilst laughing and I laughed and agreed with her. We just powered on together, it was all about the survival swim today.
Acceptance
Pretty ecstatic and relieved crossing that finish, but I still finished on a high of achievement, but certainly no PB’s today. I had sorted my approach and my mood and accepted the weather, the time, and appreciated that I was able to do it. As I came out of the water, I saw a woman, start to rip off the wetsuit and then line up in her skins for the next event which was the half mile swim. I was like……wow…….and guess what I’m doing next year?! Signing up for 2 swims in the same event. They’ve started to introduce skins swims for the half mile, mile, and shorter events so I’m giving that a try.
Hopes and Dreams
Lately, hungry for the next year ahead challenges I’ve been reading, researching, and mulling over endurance swimming. I am so tempted try a swim trek holiday. You go to amazing costal locations, dotted all over the world, and swim distance every day, with like-minded people and get training tips and technique feedback, all wrapped up in stunning sea locations and lovely hotels. You swim designated distances every day, up to 3 miles a day……at the moment I’m training in the pool and doing 3.5 miles a week, over 3 days, so there’s a lot to be done. Maybe 2026 will be more realistic. In the meantime, I’m doing 5 events next year, because I’m all about the setting myself personal goals and hefty challenges. I’ll be doing the extra Lake District, Windemere Epic event along with the others so I had better get to work.
Watch this Space
I’m also googling “Swim the English Channel Relay Teams” and watching the videos of the dark, choppy, night time swims. It’s fascinating and thrilling looking and imagine swimming alongside the boat, with a team of women, all rooting for each other……..in the dark, choppy, night time abyss………(with the dead bodies). You know me, never say never. Stay tuned, until next time.
NEXT UP – Life with writing the book one year on.
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